How to Shut Your Brain Off and Fall Asleep Faster
It’s funny how, as soon as you become a new dad, the topic of sleep comes up a lot. My little guy, Charlie, can be prrretty active at night. However, sleep difficulties aren’t just for new parents.
If you’re struggling to fall asleep because your mind won’t shut off, you’re not alone.
In my counselling practice, poor sleep quality and stress-related sleep disturbances come up constantly. It’s not an isolated problem. Whether it’s racing thoughts, mental to-do lists, or lingering anxieties or worries, many people find it nearly impossible to quieten their minds at night. The body might be tired, but the brain is wide awake.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, but there are ways to change. What if you could calm that mental noise and ease into a better night’s sleep?
Why You Can’t Sleep: The Link Between Stress and Sleep
Stress and sleep disturbances are closely linked. When you’re stressed, your brain stays in high alert mode, making it hard (if not impossible) to relax and fall asleep. High stress levels increase cortisol production, disrupt your circadian rhythm, and lead to insomnia.
A 2020 review found that sleep quality is directly and indirectly affected by stress, especially when paired with habits like thought rumination and emotional reactivity (Zhang et al., 2024).
The key is to interrupt the stress response before bed with tools that calm the nervous system and shift mental focus.
What’s Worked for Me:
I’ve been there, lying in bed after a long day, exhausted but unable to sleep while my brain runs a marathon.
Sometimes, your negativity bias prevents you from letting go of difficult events or interactions that didn’t go your way, even when the rest of the day weighed heavily in the positive.
Other times, it’s a relentless loop of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. As a clinical counsellor juggling work, family, and personal goals, I’ve had to find real, effective ways to manage nighttime overthinking. With a few consistent habits, things changed.
Here are the strategies I’ve found most helpful—not just for myself, but also for many of my clients at Gratus Health who are dealing with similar struggles.
1. Go to Bed Earlier (and Take the Pressure Off)
As the old saying goes, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise.” But there’s more to it than that. Going to bed earlier can impact your sleep quantity, quality, and overall health.
Giving yourself a head start at bedtime gives your brain and body space to ease into rest without the pressure of needing to fall asleep fast. That pressure alone can trigger anxiety.
This simple yet effective strategy can alleviate the worry you might experience when feeling pressured to fall asleep, especially if you’ve experienced anxiety about the quality of your sleep. Take the pressure off by giving yourself wind-down time to read or relax; even 30 minutes can be a game-changer.
Pro tip: screen time does not help you relax, so leave your phone alone.
2. Stay Consistent
It is easy to overlook, but consistency matters.
Going to bed and waking up at the same time helps regulate your body’s internal clock. When I stick to a schedule, my body starts winding down on its own, requiring no extra effort.
Studies show that consistent, early sleep patterns and regular sleep-wake times contribute to better health, while later sleep and variability are linked to negative health outcomes and illness (Chaput et al., 2020).
3. Just Breathe
You don’t need a formal meditation practice to calm your mind.
Focusing on your breath—and nothing else—works. It’s not a formal meditation, but concentrating on your breath moving in and out through the nose helps to free your mind from the stressors of the day.
When your mind drifts (which it will), bring your attention back to the sensation of air entering and leaving your lungs. When worrying thoughts come, let them go and come back to your breath.
4. Put Your Problems in Perspective
Sometimes, what keeps us awake is a cascade of spiralling into inconsequential problems.
I developed a Problem Scale to quantify worry. It helps me put problems in perspective. You can ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, how bad is this really?”
The scale looks something like this:
10 = Death (you don’t want to be at or near a 10 for yourself or anyone you love)
9 = Critical illness/disability
8 = Serious injury or hospitalization
7 = Major life crisis (divorce, losing a home, etc.)
6 = Legal/financial/business trouble
5 = Setbacks that affect life for 6+ months
4 = Setbacks that affect life under 6 months
3 = Setbacks lasting about a month
2 = A rough week
1 = A bad day
If it’s a 1–3, ask yourself: “Will this matter in five years? If not, why worry about it for five minutes?” Try to let it go, at least for tonight.
If it’s a 6 or higher, give yourself grace. Worry makes sense when the problem is significant. Points 8-10 of the scale are reserved for your (or loved ones) health challenges because they’re so significant. You can have a thousand and one problems UNTIL you have a health problem–then you only have one problem.
Significant life challenges and health issues can be understandably stressful, but remember, you’ll think more clearly and support better overall health after a good night’s rest.
5. If it Matters, Write it Down
When your problems and stress are overwhelming, it is normal to find yourself ruminating in bed. While nighttime inadvertently becomes an optimal time to sort through the files in your mind and do some problem-solving, this mental activity often hinders our ability to sleep.
If you’re struggling to keep everything organized in your mind, try writing down your thoughts and task lists before bedtime. Research studies support writing “to-do lists” before bed. This form of “cognitive offloading” or “brain dump” reduces mental clutter. The more specific the to-do list, the faster you’ll fall asleep (Schulin et al., 2018).
Your to-do list will still be there in the morning. Get it all out of your mind and onto the page so that you can tackle action steps after a restful sleep.
6. Spiral Up with Gratitude
This one might be the most powerful strategy of all.
Our brains are wired to spiral into negativity (it’s called the negativity bias), but what if we try spiralling into positivity? You can rewire your brain by ending the day with gratitude. Even after tough days, I make a point to reflect on a few things I’m thankful for—like a client breakthrough, time with my son, or other small wins.
Why does it work? You can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time.
Neuroscience shows that gratitude practices reduce stress, lower anxiety, and improve sleep (UCLAHealth, 2023). Gratitude helps you stop ruminating about what went wrong and refocus on what went right. It’s a mental shift that literally changes your neurochemistry, calming your nervous system, and preparing the brain for rest.
A Quote
“If you won’t worry about it in five years, why worry about it for five minutes?”
Jessie Lee Ward
A Thought
When you hear the word “spiralling,” no one ever thinks of spiralling up.
Instead of spiralling down into negativity, try spiralling up into gratitude.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Rest.
We won’t ever be able to eliminate all the stress in our lives, but we can change how we respond to it, especially at night. By incorporating these simple but powerful tactics, you can retrain your brain to relax and reclaim the rest your body and mind need.
If you're struggling with nighttime overthinking, try starting with just one of these strategies. You don’t need to master all five at once. Pick one. Give it a week. See how your sleep changes.
It’s not about being perfect—just consistent. Whether it’s building a better bedtime routine, shifting your thoughts, or adding a little gratitude, each small change helps you spiral up, not down, and get the rest your mind and body deserve.
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References:
Chaput, J.-P., Dutil, C., Featherstone, R., Ross, R., Giangregorio, L., Saunders, T. J., Janssen, I., Poitras, V. J., Kho, M. E., Ross-White, A., Zankar, S., & Carrier, J. (2020). Sleep timing, sleep consistency, and health in adults: A systematic review. Applied Physiology, Nutrition, and Metabolism, 45(10 (Suppl. 2)), S232–S247. https://doi.org/10.1139/apnm-2020-0032
Scullin, M. K., Krueger, M. L., Ballard, H. K., Pruett, N., & Bliwise, D. L. (2018). The effects of bedtime writing on difficulty falling asleep: A polysomnographic study comparing to-do lists and completed activity lists. Journal of Experimental Psychology. General, 147(1), 139–146. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000374
Uclahealth. (2023, March 22). Health Benefits of Gratitude. UCLA Health. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/health-benefits-gratitude
Zhang, J., Xiang, S., Li, X., Tang, Y., & Hu, Q. (2024). The impact of stress on sleep quality: A mediation analysis based on longitudinal data. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1431234. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1431234
